posted February 15, 2013

Go the spoils. And the firm of Lockhart-Gardner is just that – spoiled. For a firm that was in a financial pit of quicksand a month ago, LG has now found itself diving through a mountain range of gold coins. With a firm whose past four years have reflected the business acumen of a 21-year-old pro athlete, we can only imagine what the riches will lead to for LG – an old fashioned shopping spree! And our sources got their hands on LG’s shopping list:

  • 1 extra floor of office space
  • 2 executive washrooms for Lockhart and Gardner equipped with “His and Her” Egyptian cotton towels.
  • 1 Boca Raton partner retreat for “morale building” purposes
  • 5 new partners
  • 10 paralegals – incl. 1 minority, 1 female, and 1 minority female
  • 1 Bengal tiger (David Lee insisted)
  • 1 Topiary garden – marsupials only
  • 45 Best Boss Ever mugs
  • 45 Swingline staplers (red) – so every partner can have their own
  • 1 color printer
  • 2 guard dogs – 1 Rottweiler, 1 Bichon Frisé
  • 1 box Sharpies
  • 1 Sharpei
  • 12 Wireless Bluetooth speakers
  • 1 Banksy print
  • 1 Roomba
  • 15 sets of Gordon Gecko suspenders
  • 1 underground Zombie apocalypse bunker
  • 3 champagne fountains
  • 1 pool boy (I mean, how can you not?)
  • 5 boxes paper clips