WE WISH WE KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU

posted March 2, 2011

In an outta-the-blue announcement today, State�s Attorney Glenn Childs proclaimed that he�s quitting his reelection campaign. Say it ain�t so, Glennie!

He�s right. You gotta know how to prioritize. Priority one, family � been divorced over a year. Check! Number 2 � his job � a number of overturned verdicts due to crime lab�s falsified evidence. Cross that one off. And his campaign was third? Well now� that is one completed list.

Though rumors were rampant, we got the lowdown on exactly why the Coated Crusader will be hanging up the pinstriped cape. While Peter �Just Say Now� Florrick may have the tri-colored Rasta beanie, Glenn Childs had a real live Jamaican living in his house!

That�s right, it�s another undocumented nanny. When Childs was pointing his finger at Wendy for her illegal nanny problems, three more fingers really were pointing back at him!

To make matters worse, when he realized that the nanny was about to be tracked down and exposed just before election night, he offered to pay for a nice extended vacation in the Caribbean. Oh Glennie, you�ve been prosecuting peeps long enough to know: it�s always the cover-up that gets ya.

Now we�re left in a room alone with Captain Malfeasance and Miss Congeniality. Thanks, Childs.