AT LEAST EHARMONY ONLY HAS THOSE ANNOYING ADS

posted Ocotober 12, 2010

Our sources tell us that the crack in the Northbrook sniper case came when they realized that the common link between the victims - and in one case, intended victim - was that they had all used the same internet dating site, datehearts.com.

We checked Carl Landers's profile and were disappointed to find not one mention of the fact that if, on your date, you bring up Eat Pray Love, vampires, cats, or Katherine Heigl, so help him, he will kill you. Which is just wrong, because your profile is your best tool for letting prospective dates get a sense of the real you!

Internet dating: killing us all.