posted November 19, 2012

The trial of socialite Gwyneth Van Zanten is finally underway. The lurid tale of sex and murder preoccupied cocktail party chatter on the North Shore all summer, and at last, the trial ripped straight from a romance novel has begun.

Surely, for $125 an hour, a Pilates instructor does more than just lead their clients in the hundreds. Something else must be included at that price, no? Mini-quiches, some gardening... a hired murder here and there? It must! Otherwise, these rich bored housewives are paying more than a dollar per sit-up for someone to count. That's not possible, is it? Oh, rich people! Your ways are so fascinating!